Cardboard box Therepy
by The Earth Alchemist
Summary: After helping Lucas with a problem, everyone else wants Snake's advice! Can Snake keep his sanity or is he going to get problems of his own? R&R. First fic, be gentle with reviews. 7th Chapter up!
1. Prolouge

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to their respective companies

**AN:** I do plan on having more chapters but may stop if I don't get enough reviews

**Cardboard Box Therapy**

Lucas was scared.

He ran as fast as he could out of the theatre room and out the door. Ness had talked him into Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It wasn't bad at first and he started to like it, but

when those ghost things came he ran as fast out of the theater. The other kid smashers were still watching it, but he didn't care.

Lucas wanted to talk to someone but he didn't know who. He didn't know any of the others besides Ness that well. He couldn't tell the bad guys because they would laugh at him and he

couldn't talk to the older smashers because they would ignore him. The younger ones would know what to talk about either. He ran outside and went to his special where he could cry. He

had discovered it one day after Wario scarred him. It was up a big hill behind a huge rock. It had a small pond, green grass and he could see the entire tower from up their, but today there

was a cardboard box as well.

Lucas approached the box carefully. It was your regular run of the mill box except for the Smash Bros logo on it. He could hear talking coming from the inside of it. He cautiously stepped back,  
deciding to leave him when an odd curiosity hit him. What could possibly be in their and why was it talking? Taking a deep breath, he lifted the box

Inside was Snake, one of the new brawlers like him. Lucas didn't know much about him because he never really talked to him. Firstly, Lucas was too young for him to talk to and secondly, he

scarred the crap out Lucas. He appeared to be watching a screen

As Lucas continued to think to himself, Snake realized his box was gone. He turned around and saw Lucas starring at him.

"What the hell are you doing"! Yelled Snake, whiched caused Lucas to step back.

"Igotscarredandcameheretocrybecauseialwayscomeheretocryandiwanttotalkwithsomeonean-"

"Okay, I get it, but nobody touches my box" Snake replied. As he said this, Lucas started to watch to screen Snake had just been watching.

"Is that Samus"? Lucas asked, pointing to the screen. Sure enough, on the screen was Samus Aran, the bounty hunter, changing.

Snake looked at Lucas, then the screen then back to the boy. Snake scratched the back of his head.

"You put a camera in her room"! Lucas exlamied.

"Well this is awkward" said the solider.

Lucas was about to run away when Snake grabed him.

"Listen kid" began Snake "If you tell nobody about this, ESPECIALLY SAMUS, You can talk to me".

Lucas happily cheered as Snake pulled another box around the two of them.

**AN**: End of the prologue! This is my first fic so PLEASE REVIEW. I know its short and stupid, but its my prolouge


	2. Lucas

Disclaimer: All character belong to their respective companies

**Disclaimer: **All character belong to their respective companies

**AN: **Wow, I didn't expect to get so many reviews, and so fast. Thanks for reminding me how much my grammar sucks. If it wasn't for spell check, I'd be screwed for sure. That's enough ranting, ON WITH THE STORY!

**Cardboard box Therapy: Lucas**

"Well kid, what do you want to talk about?" Snake said as he lit a cigarette

"Umm could you not smoke?" asked Lucas.

"My box, my rules, don't like them, get out," He replied coldly.

"Okay, I go talk to Samus," The PSI user replied, grinning evily.

Snake flicked the cigarette out the hole in the box.

" I think you should have put that out," said Lucas.

"Ya well I don...,"Snake trailed off as he watched the cigarette created a fire. He quickly jumped out of the box, picked it up and tied to put the fire out, but then the box caught on fire.

"PK FREEZE" Lucas shouted, freezing the fire...and Snake. He eventually unfroze. He looked at Lucas, who smiled, and made a face. He then pulled out another box and put it over them.

"How many of those do you have?" Lucas asked. "I dunno they just keep coming,"

"You got enough room?" Snake asked. Lucas nodded.

"Okay, talk away," Said the solider.

"Well…….err…….uhhhhhhhh…………hmm," he stammered. This continued for about 5 minutes before

Snake lost it. "JUST SPIT IT OUT!" he yelled, causing Lucas to flinch.

"Sorry, continue" Snake replied sheepishly.

"Well the thing is, I just get scared a lot," said Lucas.

"It's natural to get scared," said Snake.

"But I get too scared at stupid things," the young boy continued "I had Ness check my closet for a week because Bowser said a living doll that shoots energy lives inside it," he finished.

Then Snake started laughing.

"It's not funny," Lucas whined.

"No, it's not about you're problem, but why would a laser shooting doll be here!" Snake said still chuckling.

"I guess it does seem kind of stupid" said Lucas smiling.

"But back to your problem," said Snake, suddenly becoming serious. "Your young kid, so it's okay for you to believe things like that,"

"My name's Lucas," he said "pleases call me by that, not _kid_," he finished.

"Okay _Lucas_," Snake replied, putting emphasis on his name.

"It's not just that," "when Wario attacked me and Ness, I ran away when he turned Ness into a trophy, I got lost and confused, so I ran,"

"Oh, I get it now," said Snake. "You get scared easily because lack confidence," he continued. "When you're around your friend's, they inspire you to do things, like watch that movie," "But when you got scared, Ness didn't reassure you, so you ran,"

"I guess that makes sense," said Lucas. "Try doing something by yourself that you normally wouldn't do,"

"Hey, I think you're right, thanks Snake," said Lucas happily. "By the way, why did you put a camera in Samus's room?"

"Ummmmmmmm.. I'll tell you when you're older" Snake stammered.

"PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE," said Lucas with his best puppy dog eyes. "I'll probably regret this, but okay come close,"

**10 minutes later**

Lucas walked out of the box and started to walk back to the mansion. What he had just heard would mortify him for years. He then noticed a pink blob at the bottom of the hill. It was Nana,

the female Ice climber.

"Hi Nana," Lucas said, still recovering from Snakes "_Talk_".

"Hi Lucas," she greeted him cheerfully. "I've been looking for you ever since you ran out,"

" Uhh.. Thanks," he said, blushing a little.

He then remembered what Snake told him. He gulped.

"Nana, would you like to get something to eat?" he asked.

"Sure" she replied.

The two walked inside.

"_Hey, this feels good," _Lucas thought. _"Snake sure does give good advice,"_.

Unfortunately, Lucas was being careless and accidentally sent his thought to everyone in the tower.

Mean while Snake was back at Lucas' spot. He had lit another cigarette . He took a puff and looked to the sky. "Looks like a storms coming," he said

**--**

**AN:** Finally done chapter one. And now here's the dilemma. Who do I do next. Well I want you guys to pick. And please look for spelling and grammar errors. I'll try to write longer chapters in the future R&R


	3. Toon Link

AN: I want to thank you guys for the reviews you've given me

**AN:** I want to thank you guys for the reviews you've given me. It gives me that warm fuzzy feeling that people are actually care about stuff I write. Here are some things I need to make clear. 1) The Smashers live in a hotel/tower. 2) I will probably update once to twice a week depending on my schedule. 3) My grammar sucks….ON WITH THE STORY

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to their respective companies

**Cardboard Box Therapy: Toon Link**

Toon Link was in his room when he heard Lucas' message. Like everyone, TL had his problems. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't talk to anyone because everyone because they thought he

was as ugly as hell. Beside his ugliness, he wasn't the most popular guy in the tower. He replaced Young Link in the roaster. The other Smashers weren't to found of the "Replacements" (as

they were referred to), but was only to a minimal extent. TL's main problem involved one of the Smashers and his feelings for them.

Wanting to get to Snake as fast as possible, Link pulled out his trusty Wind Waker and preformed the Ballad of Gales. As he finished, a tornado appeared and lifted him up……and through his

roof. Master Hand floated by and looked in. "THAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK," he yelled.

TL touched down when he saw Snakes familiar box. As he landed the wind blew the box away, revealing Snake, who was watching his screen……again. Snake turned around, a little pissed

off about what happened. He was about to scold the boy, when he realized it was TL.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH," Snake screamed clutching his eyes"THEY BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNN,"

"I'm not that ugly," the young hero protested.

"Have you looked in a mirror," replied Snake.

"Well I would if they would stop breaking," TL retorted.

"Exactly what I mean" said Snake.

"Well I'm not leaving until we talk," TL said, which got Snake thinking.

"_If he stays, I can't return to my "quality" time, plus I can't keep my eyes covered forever. I guess I have no choice,"_

"Okay, we can talk, but you have to where this on your head" Snake said producing a smaller box. TL looked at it puzzled and put it on.

"Do you use boxes for all your problems?" TL asked.

"Damn straight" Snake replied putting another box around them.

"What's bugging you?" Snake asked.

"I want to talk to you about Zelda and my feelings," said TL.

"Oh boy, I hoped Link would talk to you about this," began Snake. "When a boy starts to get older, his pen..,"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT," TL yelled interrupting him. "I like her, but I can't tell her," TL explained.

"Why" Snake asked intrigued.

"Because if I do Tetra would rip my balls off!" the little warrior cried.

"Who's Tetra" Snake asked again.

"She's my universes equivalent to Zelda's alter-ego, Sheik, but she's a ruthless pirate instead of a ninja" TL explained. He then shuddered. "She's done some horrible things to me and if she  
saw me with another girl," he shuddered again.

Snake let out a sigh and leaned back. "I'd like to add a couple things," "Number 1, you're 12 and she's 19," "I don't think it will work" Snake began. "Number 2, people sometimes beat on

you because they like you, but don't know what to do about it,"

"You're just saying that because Samus beats you up," TL muttered.

"What was that," Snake said menaceling.

"Nothing" TL replied innocently. "I guess your right, TL said. "Thanks Snake you really helped me".

"You're welcome, now get out" replied Snake kicking him out of the box.

TL couldn't help but smile as he walked back to the tower. His problem was quelled and he could rest easy now. At least he was until he ran into a tree because he forgot to remove the box

from his head.

"_I hate you Snake," _

**AN:** That's the last time I wait until the last minute when writing a chapter. Just like last time R&R and leave your request for the next character. And please look for spelling errors. See ya.


	4. Ness

AN: This chapter is for mother's day

**AN:** This chapter is for mother's day. It's dedicated to somebody very special in my life. Don't expect too much humour in it.

**Cardboard Box Therapy: Ness**

Ness tried to stop Lucas from running put of the theatre but he missed his chance. Lucas was much faster than him, so he had no chance to catch him. Ness also didn't know what to say to

his friend any way.

After the movie finished, Nana went to look for Lucas, so Ness and Popo went to go get some food. Peach was in the kitchen making some pie. "Hey Peach, what are you cooking?" Popo

greeted her as they walked in.

"My specialty, apple pie," she proudly stated.

Popo couldn't stop drooling, but Ness seemed kind of scared. He slowly back away, before finally running out.

"What's wrong with him?" Peach asked. Popo shrugged.

Ness continued running to his room, trying to stop the tears from falling. The memories were to painful. It played like a movie in his head.

_I am sitting in my house with Jeff, Paula, Poo and my... mother. Jeff is devouring his slice of pie while Paula slowly nibbles on it. Poo is looking at the pie carefully, not sure if he should eat it or not._

I'm sitting beside my mom. She looks at me and I look back. She smiles, and I smile back. I love you she says and she hugs me. Then she disappers. and then it restarts again.

He couldnt take it anymore_._ He threw himself onto the bed, no longer holding his sobs back. He lay on his bed for ten minutes, then heard Luca's message. He trusted Lucas very much, so

he could trust Snake. He got up and wiped his tears. "PK Thunder" he yelled hitting himself, project him threw his window, shattering it.

Master Hand floated by again. He looked in. "THAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK" he yelled again.

Ness landed in a crater next to Snake's box. The mercenary looked out and saw the boy on the ground.

"Nice landing" he sarcastically remarked.

Ness got his head out of the ground and looked at Snake.

"Can we talk?" he pleaded.

"_Holy crap, what's with these kids and their problems? We should just put them all on meds"_ Snake thought. "_Samus isn't even in her room right now, plus I got nothing better to do_" he finished.

"Fine" he replied letting him in the box

"So what's your problem?" Snake asked looking at the boy.

Ness started at him for along time before finally bursting into tears. "I MISS MY MOM" he cried, which startled Snake.

"I have a phone you could call her with" Snake offered, remembering when Luigi told him how Ness got homesick easily.

"You cant, she's DEAD!" he yelled which caused him to cry some more.

"I'm sorry to hear that" Snake said trying to comfort him.

There was a long moment of silence, broke only by Ness' sobs.

"I didn't have a mom" said Snake, which caused Ness to look up. "I'm a clone, I wasn't born in the traditional way" he continued.

Ness had stop crying. "You must have had somebody" the PSI user asked.

"I did" Snake replied grimly. "A brother and a father, but I had to kill both of them". He continued as he lit a cigarette. "I know what your feeling kid and you have to remember this".

Ness listened closely. "Your mom loved you with all her heart and she is always with you".

"Give me a hug" said Ness, pulling the man into an embrace. When they broke, Ness looked up to him.

"You're the best" he said and then left.

Snake leaned back in his box and took a deep breath. Then he shed a tear, because that was the first time someone hugged him.

**AN: **This chapter is dedicated to my mom, who died a year ago in April. I miss her very dearly. Please R&R and wish your moms a happy mother's day


	5. Ice Climbers

AN: If I learned anything based on the last chapter, it's that you guys like humour instead of seriousness, so I will try to make things funnier

**AN:** If I learned anything based on the last chapter, it's that you guys like humour instead of seriousness, so I will try to make things funnier. Sorry about the wait for this chapter. I have too much school work. Also, exams are coming, so their might be some delays for the next chapter.

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to their respective companies.

**Cardboard Box Therapy: Ice Climbers**

Popo watched Ness run out of the kitchen and sighed. He was too hungry to give chase to his friend. So he sat done and Peach gave him a slice of pie. While he was eating it, Lucas and

Nana came in, looking for food as well.

"Hey Lucas, what did you mean when you said Snake helps with problems?" Popo asked as he shovelled food into his mouth.

"Well, I went to talk with him about my problems" Lucas began.

"He listens to what you say and gives really good advice about your problems"

"What kind of problems?" Nana asked.

"I guess all of them" The PSI boy replied.

"It's settled" Popo announced as he stood up."Nana, we are going to talk to Snake about our problem".

Nana stood up to and went to his side. Popo produced a whistle, which he blew into. The creature that brings them to the stage crashed through the roof. The Climbers grabbed its feet and

the creature took of, breaking a window.

"THAT"S COMING OUT OF YOURE… WHY EVEN BOTHER ANYMORE" Master Hand declared.

The pair landed next to Snakes box. Nana knocked on the box, which caused a lot of grumbling to come from inside. A pair of eyes stared out of the side of the box, staring at the two. "No

your not coming in to talk" Snake declared coldly. "We'll pay you" said Popo producing five dollars from his pocket, and showing it to him. After hearing what the boy said, Snake pulled his

wallet out (which was a folded box) and looked inside. Inside was nothing. He sighed and lifted the box up, motioning the two to come in. They happily ran in. He took Popo's money and put

it in.

"What's on your mind's" he asked the two.

"Well, Popo and I don't know what are relationship is" Nana started

. "Are we brother and sister or lovers, we don't know" Popo finished. "Well you are umm, wellllll you have to beeeeee ahhh well I don't know either" Snake concluded.

"Somebody has to know" Nana yelled.

"Wait, I have an idea" Snake exclaimed.

**Ten minutes later**

The Ice Climbers exited the box and began walking back to the tower.

"Wow, I never thought about it like that" said Popo.

"Yeah and now, everything makes sense" Nana concluded and the two happily skipped back to the tower.

Meanwhile, out in the distance, five mysterious figures loomed on the horizon.

**AN:** Can you guess who the next chapter is about? I know this one was short, but I have a bad case of writers block right now so, ya. Until next time


	6. Brawl Leftouts

AN: I feel really bad for making you guys waiting so long for this chapter

**AN: **I feel really bad for making you guys waiting so long for this chapter. Now that it's summer, I plan on writing more now. I hope that you guys still find this interesting.

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to their respectful companies.

**Cardboard Box Therapy: Melee characters**

Snake woke up when an abrupt noise came from outside his box. The mercenary wiped the drool coming from his mouth and listened to the noise coming from outside.

From what Snake could tell based on footsteps that there was four people outside his box. One was a child, the second in there teens, one was middle aged and the last was now bigger

than three feet. If he was fast enough, he could take out the teen and the older one, and the other two would be a problem. "What's this box doing here?" the teen asked giving it a kick.

Snake readied his M9 tranquilizer pistol. "_You touched the box, you're first" _Snake thought.

Just as his box began to lift, Snake burst from it, shooting three rounds into the teen's chest. He then went into a roll which knocked the older one over. He then spun around and threw a

flash grenade at the other two, blinding them. He was about to go finish then when he was suddenly lifted into the air. "I'll get you for that!" yelled the teen. Snake noticed his trancs didn't

work because they were stuck in his armour. Snake also noted that these people looked very familiar. The teen approached Snake and drew his fist back to punch him.

"_That's enough fighting __Roy"_ said a mysterious voice that came from inside his head.

A fifth person came out, only it wasn't human, it resembled a cat

At this time Snake finally got a good look at the group. The teen had fiery red hair, blue armour and carried a sword. The middle aged man resembled Mario, except he had a

doctor's uniform on. The boy and the smaller creature resembled Link and Pikachu respectively, only the boy was younger and the creature was smaller. Lastly was the cat humanoid

creature, who was coloured various shades of purple.

That's when it hit Snake.

"You guys were the people left out of Brawl" Snake concluded.

"Took you long enough" Young Link replied sarcastically.

"Mewtwo, you can-a cut the psychic" Doctor Mario told the Pokémon. Snake hit the ground with a thud.

"So what brings you guys up here?" Snake asked.

"We were going to march on the tower and demand why Master Hand left us out of the game!" Roy yelled.

"Oh I can tell you guys" Snaked replied as he lit a cigarette. "You can?" Pichu exclaimed.

"Yes, just step into my office" said Snake as he pointed to his box.

"Uhhh there is no way that we'll all fit in their" Young Link pointed out.

"I'll show you what year of Tetris does for you" Snake said with a grin.

Suddenly, the old school Tetris music starts to play and the Melee characters resemble Tetris blocks. Snake then begins placing the group into a perfect box by rotating them around. When

finished he placed the box around them.

"What did I tell ya" Snake stated triumphantly.

"_You forgot yourself"_ Mewtwo told him

"DO'H"

--

After 10 minutes of shuffling, rotating, cursing, bad touching, and crying, Snake somehow managed to get himself inside the box with everyone else.

"I forgot what we were talking about" Snake said, which caused everyone to sigh.

"You were going to tell us why we weren't in Brawl" exclaimed Pichu.

"You're easy; nobody wants to be a character that hurts them self and plus you're a clone. Same goes for pointy ears and fat, bushy and Italian."

"Marth and I were both clones, but why did they pick him over me" Roy protested.

"I think it has something to do with your Final Smash" Snake said

"FLASHBACK" he then yelled. Everyone stared at him.

_--_

_Three months ago_

_It was a brawl on the second Fire Emblem stage, which was a lush forest. It was between Roy, Captain Falcon, the Ice Climbers and Fox. A Smash Ball appeared on the field. Fox shot it twice, but Popo_

_threw a Deku Nut at it breaking the ball. As he did Captain Falcon snuck behind him and drew his fist back. "FALCON PUNCH" he yelled knocking the ball out of him and KO'ed him. The ball flew right in_

_front of Roy who poked it causing it to break. "NOW YOU WILL ALL BURN!" Roy yelled as he put his sword in the ground. It began to rain massive fireballs while the ground ignited. Captain Falcon and_

_Fox were easily Ko'ed. Evil music began playing in the background while Roy cackled evilly_.

_--_

"What-a- happened to the stage?" Dr. Mario asked.

"I think it's the last part of the Castel Siege stage" Snake replied.

"Hey it's not my fault that my Final Sash does that"

"_You still haven't answered on my behalf" _Mewtwo reminded Snake

"Well for you….." Snake stopped for a moment and thought for awhile for a reply. After ten minutes, he came up with nothing. "I really don't know why you aren't in this game"

"Maybe because he was low tier" Young Link added in.

"TIERS ARE FOR QUEERS" Snake randomly yelled. He then pulled out a Gamecube controller and bludgeoned the boy in the head, knocking him out.

"Was that necessary?" Roy asked "He only said tier"

--

After Young Link and Roy both woke up, it was time for them to leave. Their was another ten minutes of shuffling, rotating, cursing, bad touching and crying, everyone was out of the box.

Snake was walking back to the tower when he noticed a note in his pocket.

"_So that why I feel so violated_" he thought to himself.

It read:

_Dear Mercenary Snake._

_Your service today has greatly helped my comrades with their anger._

_We are going to talk with Master Hand about living arrangements in the tower with the others. _

_I must say that I have read the minds of most of the people their and to put it simply:_

_They all need some serious help. Many of them would pay for your services_

_Mewtwo._

That's was when the idea hit Snake he hurried back to his room in the tower to get to work. He doubted he would get much sleep tonight.

**AN: **And with that I end the chapter. Again please request your characters and idea's for problems. Also please critique my writing style because something seems a bit off to me.

And please remember:

TIERS ARE FOR QUEERS!


	7. The Next Day

**Disclaimer: **All chracters belong to their respective companies

**AN: **Time for the transitional phase chapter. Not much plot wise, but it sets up for the next chapter. I'm going away for a week in August so I will try to update again before I leave. I order to explain Samus' actions; I see hers as a bit of a klutz at time. I also recommend you check out Napola's The Cosmic War if you already haven't. It's a great mix of action, romance, and humour.

**Cardboard box Therapy: the Next Day**

Samus woke up blaring sounds of her alarm. At times she really wanted to boot it out of her room to the streets below, but they don't come cheap. She grumbled to herself as she got out of her bed only to trip and hit the floor.

"_I really have to stop doing that"_ she told herself as she got up. She changed out of the light blue tank top and white shorts she slept in for her trademark Zero suit. She went to her bathroom to brush her teeth. She then proceeded to brush her hair. She often thought about cutting it short so she didn't have to brush it every day, but every time she decided against it. She was about to put in into its signature ponytail, but today she felt like wearing it as it was.

Samus walked out to the elevator and pressed the down button. In the tower every Smasher got their own floor. It took the elevator awhile due to her being on the 30th floor. Smashers with aircrafts got the top floors of easy accessibility. A small chime signified the elevator arrival. It was the only one in the tower but big enough to fit everyone, including both Hands. Surprisingly she was the only one on it. Samus was one of the few who got up early. She pressed for the 2nd floor, the cafeteria. The ride was silent, for about one floor, when the elevator opened again and another person got in.

"GOOD MORING SAMUS, ISNT IT A FALCON AWSOME DAY"

Douglas Jay Falcon or Captain Falcon as he was mainly called had just turned Samus' peaceful ride into a minute and thirty second hell.

He sighed as the racer entered the elevator. Even though the two had the whole elevator to themselves, he stood a little close to her.

"I LIKE YOUR HAIR"

"_Why is he always yelling?_

"YOU SMELL NICE"

"_Oh god, he's hitting on me. Try to change the topic"_

She didn't need to because the door opened. In walked the infamous Solid Snake. He carried some fliers in his hand. He walked in to the corner and leaned against the wall. Samus looked over to him and then to Falcon. The man was ready to blow the world up.

Their was a strange relationship between the two men. Being the two oldest men in the tower, they usually relied on each other for conversation or practise, but with that reliance came rivalry. They could be friends one day and hate each other the next. The main cause of their wasn't strength or popularity, but Samus. Both men had shown an interest in her, and both noticed the others interesting her. One would shamelessly flirt with and then the other would try to out do the other.

Samus could feel the tension between the two men as they stared at each other. The peaceful elevator ride that had become a minute and thirty second hell was now minute and ten stare-down.

Samus couldn't get out of that elevator fast enough. Unfortunately, her rushing caused her to miss a step, causing her to fall. Captain Falcon saw her fall and lunged forward to catch her. Snake also saw this and also lunged forward, his flyers scattering .everywhere. The two men collided into each other causing them to fall on top of the bounty huntress, causing a pile up in front of the elevator.

When Samus managed to bring herself together after the fall, she felt an odd presence, almost like violation. Upon glancing up, she discovered that both Snake and Captain Falcon had one out stretched hand touching her breasts. This dawned on her as it dawned on the two men. Both immediately shot up, looked at each other, then to Samus then back to each other. Samus slowly rose to her knees, her eyes blood red. Both men held each other as they came under the wrathful glance of Samus.

"I will give you a moment to pray to your gods" She said her voice void of emotion.

They took that moment to run as fast as they could.

She didn't bother to chase the two, because no matter how hard she beat them, they always came back. She stood up and brushed herself off. She started to walk towards the cafeteria, when she noticed a bright green sheet on the floor. She picked it up and read:

_Can' sleep due to your problems?_

_Emotional stress got you down?_

_Need to vent out you frustration?_

_Come and meet Solid Snake behind the big rock on the hill for counselling_

_10 a client_

_Please make appointment on sheet_

Samus almost burst out laughing when she read this. Snake was a pervert, a stalker and an idiot, so how could he counsel people. She was about to throw the flyer out when she got an idea. Why throw it out when she could humiliate Snake. She confidently walked over to the message board and pinned Snake's sheet to it.

**One hour later**

Samus returned to the lobby after a nice breakfast. She noticed a very large group of people in front of the bulletin board. Queries, she approached the mob and almost fainted. Every single spot was filled out in Snakes sheet, and some were written on surrounding sheets just to make room. People were fighting over the pen to sign, while other used markers, knives and even blood to write an appointment.

"_Has the hold world gone crazy" _Samus thought to herself

**AN:** Now this is where the story begins. The next two chapters are filled so if requests aren't filled that's because of a line up. I will prioritize request of regular reviewers first due to their commitment.


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